Articles

The Need to Feel Loved: Why It Shapes Your Marriage (and Your Whole Family)

The Need to Feel Loved: Why It Shapes Your Marriage (and Your Whole Family)

Feeling loved isn't a nice extra, it's a primary human need. Here's what Chapman and Gottman say about why it shapes your marriage, and...

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Putting God at the Centre of Your Marriage: Why Two Is Never Enough

Putting God at the Centre of Your Marriage: Why Two Is Never Enough

Your spouse was never meant to fill you. Fulton Sheen's 1951 classic makes the case for God as the third partner in every marriage,...

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You Are Not Your Thoughts: The Roommate You Never Chose

You Are Not Your Thoughts: The Roommate You Never Chose

There is a narrator in your head that comments on everything, including your marriage. Michael Singer calls it the inner roommate. Here is how...

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Watercolour of a couple cooking together in a kitchen, him preparing food at the bench while she watches from behind, smiling

Why unsolicited advice hurts your marriage (and what to offer instead)

She is only up to the second part of the story, and he has had a solution ready since the first. Why help that...

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Illustration representing Gottman's four horsemen of relationship conflict and their antidotes

The Four Horsemen of Love, and the Four Ways Back to Each Other

John Gottman discovered that you can learn a lot about a marriage from the way a couple argues. But the good news is that...

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Gottman's love maps: how well do you know the person your spouse is now?

Gottman's love maps: how well do you know the person your spouse is now?

John Gottman calls it a love map: the store of knowledge you hold about your spouse's inner life. It doesn't measure how much you...

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The 5 love languages: why so many couples get their own one wrong

The 5 love languages: why so many couples get their own one wrong

Oliver works every extra shift and buys the good dishwasher. Charlotte would have traded it for one Sunday. Gary Chapman on why sincere love...

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Emotionally drained in your marriage? The tiredness nobody measures

Emotionally drained in your marriage? The tiredness nobody measures

Early nights, salads, the sunset walk, and still running flat around the person you love most. Michael Singer on the workout you don't know...

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Husband shuts down when stressed? What helps, what backfires

Husband shuts down when stressed? What helps, what backfires

For months there's been a closed door in our house, and I'm the one behind it. John Gray on what's actually happening in the...

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Bids for connection: the ones you miss, and how to go back for them

Bids for connection: the ones you miss, and how to go back for them

"Come and look at this." "Yeah, in a sec." The sec runs long and the branch empties. John Gottman on the small calls for...

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When a wife goes quiet: the well, and why hauling her out never helps

When a wife goes quiet: the well, and why hauling her out never helps

Everyone has a word for the cave. Almost nobody has one for the well. John Gray on the descent a woman makes in order...

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How to appreciate your spouse again, starting with the story you tell

How to appreciate your spouse again, starting with the story you tell

Gottman found that how a couple tells its history predicts its future. Here's how to tell yours whole, and start seeing your spouse again.

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